Crackshipping
by KTEW
Summary: Smellerbee's jealous. She hates it, but she is. So The Duke comes up with a plan to help her...    The original idea behind The Jealous Type


You know those stupid scrolls where the girl likes a guy who likes another girl?

I hate them. I always have.

But my life was slowly turning into one.

Okay, long story short. One of my best friends died. My other best friend and I went to the Day of Black Sun invasion, which failed. And now we're at the Western Air Temple with the Avatar, his earthbending master, his almost-girlfriend, her wacko brother, a fourteen year old inventor, an eight year old pyromaniac, and some kid with a mustache. None of this is really weird to me. Except the first part, but I'm trying to forget about that.

So, that scroll thing. Lately Longshot (other best friend)'s been talking to Toph (the earthbending master). A lot. It wouldn't bug me as much if it wasn't for the fact that he's the quietest not-mute person on the planet. He wouldn't talk to ANYBODY!

I poked my head around a wall and watched them. They were sitting by the fountain, just chatting. It really shouldn't bother me; I was friends with both of them, but it did. Jet (dead friend) used to always tease us about getting together one day.

Damn, I wished we'd listen to him.

I hated to admit it, but I thought I might be crushing on Longshot. If Honey and Granyt (two girls I knew at my old… residence) heard about this, I'd never hear the end of it.

"Bee!" I heard. I turned around. It was The Duke (pyromaniac), of course.

Yup, that's my name. Smellerbee Akamori. Or, at least, that's what I liked to call myself. That's where we lived, Akamori. That's a long story that has little to nothing to do with this, so I'll skip it.

"Hi," I muttered.

He raised an eyebrow. "Is it safe to assume that your even grumpier mood than usual has something to do with the fact you were spying on those two?"

I frowned deeper. "One, I was not spying. Two…", I sighed, "yes."

He grinned. "I don't mean to go Honey on you, but you might wanna consider another makeover."

I glared. "Oh, THANK YOU! Because the first time went i_so_/i WELL!"

(Uh, you okay?) I "heard".

I jumped and spun around. Longshot was leaning against the wall, looking at me funny.

Curse my lack of volume control.

"Uh, yeah," I managed. "Duke here just went Honey on me, that's all." I reached back, knocked his helmet off, and ruffled his hair.

"Hey!" he jumped back.

Longshot smiled a bit. (Okay.) He turned and walked back to Toph.

I turned back to The Duke, grabbed his hand, and started pulling him away.

"Wai-ait!" he complained, tugging on his arm. I let go. He ran back, grabbed his helmet, put it on, and walked back over.

"One," he started, obviously copying me, "don't call me Duke. Two, I was i_kidding_/i." He was looking at me like that should've been obvious. "I'm not i_that_/i evil."

"Uh huh," I said, rolling my eyes. "So, any nuggets of wisdom, Oh Great Pyromaniac?"

He rolled his eyes right back at me. "Make him jealous? That seems to be a pretty common solution in plays."

"Huh," I muttered. "Not a bad idea."

He grinned. "What can I say? I i_am_/i a genius."

"Right. Well, Mr. Genius, any ideas on who to do i_that_/i with?" Boys included Longshot, The Duke, Teo (inventor), Haru (mustache), Aang (Avatar), and Sokka (waterbender's brother).

He shrugged and looked thoughtful. "Not Aang."

"Yeah. I'm not kissing a 12 year old bald kid."

He nodded. "Or Haru."

I shuddered.

"Teo?" He turned to me, still thinking.

"Eh." I shrugged. "The wheelchair might be a problem."

He nodded again. "So that leaves Sokka."

I frowned. "Boomerang? Really?"

"He's the only one left," he pointed out.

I nodded. I guessed he _was_\ kinda cute. I sighed. "Okay."

He grinned. "So, how are you gonna do this?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the boy in question coming. The corner of my mouth tilted up. "I have an idea."

I turned away just slowly enough to see the midget look confused.

"Hey, Sokka!" I said, running towards him.

He flinched, like he was expecting me to stab him or something. I rolled my eyes. "I'm not gonna hurt you."

He opened his eyes and straightened up, slowly. "Really?"

I smiled a bit. "Uh, yeah. Walk with me." I gestured for him to. He did, probably more out of fear than anything.

So, at this point, we were a good hundred yards away from those two. Luckily, though, the side we were on was the side Longshot was looking at. And I knew he'd look up if he heard me.

"So, do you have a girlfriend?" I asked, as casually as possible. 75 yards.

He looked surprised. "Uh, sort of. I haven't seen her in a while." 45.

I nodded. "How long?" 30.

He shrugged. "A couple months?" 10.

I grinned. "Perfect." As was the timing.

I grabbed his collar, pulled him down to my level, and crashed my mouth onto his. I could feel Longshot's eyes staring a hole into my skull.

I pulled away. He blinked.

I let go, smirked, and walked away.

That'd show him.


End file.
